Three Is Better Than None
by Anaki Starsong
Summary: Karkat is home alone trying to enjoy his birthday when he gets an few unexpected, but not unwelcomed, guests.


Karkat pulled his computer onto his lap as he stuffed a few of his pillows behind him to prop himself up. His ever present scowl was softer than usual as he wiggled his toes and nestled into his bed, not having anywhere to be or any fuck-heads to deal with. This was HIS day. He'd turned off his phone, told John he wasn't going to Trivia Night tonight with a colorful phrase about idiots and sports questions, and his pizza should arrive in about 40 mins. As the screen blinked to life, Karkat stretched pulling his bare stomach taunt and grinned out the open window. It was just after noon and he had slept in, waking up when he fucking felt like it. Pulling up his browser, he decided to check his e-mail, quickly canceling out Skype as it popped up and asked if he wanted to sign in. No. Fuck no. This was HIS day.

15 new messages. Karkat scrolled through with a deepening scowl as he deleted any that said Facebook or Birthday. Except for the last one. He didn't recognize the sending site and curiosity got the better of him so he clicked it. An extremely hot, extremely naked young blonde man filled his screen, his arms behind his head showing off everything he had to offer while a series of background shots showed other very attractive young men sucking each other's dicks, kissing, and one very buff redhead fucking a surprised and passionate looking brunette. Karkat scoffed but couldn't help but smirk and shift his hips a little, his body lazily reacting to the visual stimulus.

"Free 3 day trial," He read with a sardonic chuckled, but then looked at the time on his screen, "What the fuck, I've got time."

Clicking the link, Karkat quickly entered a username and password and clicked the little box that told them yes he accepted their fucking terms of use now get me to the porn. When he finally got to the members page, the hot little blond was smiling back at him, his dick rock hard and a little speech bubble saying "Fuck me?" the brunette laughed and clicked the preview video. Suddenly moaning and groaning poured from his speakers as the blond was on his back, a shaggy auburn haired hottie ramming into him, tearing moans from his lips. Karkat's smile widened and he slid his laptop onto the bed, his boxers popping a tent the instant the weight was removed. Sliding his hand across his chest, Karkat slid down the bed a bit and bit his bottom lip as his other hand slid under the fabric of his underwear and gave his own dick a good pump, his hips thrusting weakly to the stimulation.

The pounding on his apartment door nearly made his jump out of his skin and he cursed, tearing his hand out of his boxers and quickly pausing the video he had been enjoying. Grabbing a crumpled pair of cargo shorts from the floor, the brunette quickly stuffed himself into them, attempting to smooth down the erection that poked the fabric out as if to say hey fucker I'm not done. He swore and yelled as the door was fiercely pounded on again and tripped out of his room, crossed the living room, and tore open the door. Sollux stood there with a slight look of surprise at the door that had just been jerked open in front of him.

"WHAT?" Karkat bellowed.

"Geeth KK, jutht came to thay happy birthday and give you your gift," Sollux quirked an eyebrow over his reverse 3D specs, an annoying wardrobe habit the young Asian man had taken up after a certain blonde douche friend of theirs had pointed out they'd match his mismatched eyes.

"That's nice, thanks, now get the fuck out," Karkat tried to grab for the small sack the black haired man was holding but it was snatched just out of reach as Sollux pushed past him and into the apartment.

"Wow, KK, you're more hothtile than usual," Sollux laughed as he dropped the package on the table and turned around before a wicked smirk crashed on his face like a breaking wave, "Oh wow, you that happy to thee me?"

Karkat looked down and flushed a deep red as he realized his boner had in fact not gone away at all, stupid body, "No you asswipe, you may have interrupted my own gift to myself if you must know and now I'll have the biggest case of blueballs thank you very much now get the fuck out!"

"Aw, now I can't let THAT happen," Sollux smirked even more playfully, "What kind of betht friend would I be if I let you have blueballth on your birthday?"

"Exactly now get ouuuuuu-," Karkat's eyes rolled into the back of his head and Sollux grabbed the front of his shorts and squeezed the bulge he found there, "Fffffffffuuuucck!"

"Eheheh," The black haired man laughed as he massaged the fabric wrapped erection, "Hi, KK."

"Fuck you," Karkat groaned and rolled his head onto Sollux's chest as the Asian man moved closer, "Mmmm, we haven't done this since college."

"I know," Sollux chuckled, "but you've been tho tenthe lately, you need thith."

"You can fucking say that again," Karkat thrust his hips and groaned even louder as Sollux undid the button of his shorts and yanked them down, kneeling in front of the brunette and swallowing his erection in one swift motion making Karkat double over and wring his fingers through ebony locks, "FUCK!"

Slowly backing up so his could lean against the table, Karkat propping himself against the cheap wood as Sollux continued to bob and suck at his dick, tearing moans from the brunette's mouth as his hips thrust and the other man massaged his thighs and butt with his hands, burying his nose into the warm brown hairs at the base of Karkat dick. Running his fingers through the coarse back hair, the birthday boy sighed heavily and looked down at the man servicing him with a glazed smirk. Sollux moved his hand to slick slide across the spit lubricated shaft as he moved down and took one of Karkat's balls into his mouth making the brunette's breath hitch. That was when a gasp made both of them turn to the door they had forgotten to close.

"Wwhat the fuck?" Eridan stood there spiked blonde hair with a purple streak and jaw agape, a small box from the local bakery with a colorful cake inside held tightly in his grasp.

"Oh for fuck sake," Karkat growled and stepped out of his shorts, plodding to the door buck naked and grabbing Eridan's wrist, dragging him into the apartment and slamming the door behind them, "I don't have time to give two shits right now. I'm horny, Sollux is sucking me off, you've wanted my dick for years-don't give me that face I can read the 'subtle hints' in your texts like a cheap porno-so instead of just standing there like a fucking idiot why don't you take this rare opportunity and help that slanty eyed fucker get me off then you can both leave me in peace."

Eridan tried to sputter an argument but then Sollux snarked from the floor, "You know, ED, if you don't think you can handle it…"

"Shut up, Sol, I can handle whatever Kar can throw at-whoa," Eridan finally took in the young naked man in front of him, "Cod damn that's big."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Karkat rolled his eyes, dragging Eridan over to where Sollux was chuckling, "Now make yourself God damn useful."

When he was back in range, Sollux took Karkat's member back into his mouth as the brunette pulled a suddenly shy Eridan in for a kiss. Eridan groaned into the kiss and sucked in a breath as Sollux began to fondle to suddenly tight front of his jeans. Karkat grabbed for the hem of the blonde man's shirt and tore if off over his head, taking his thick black framed glasses with them, but Eridan was a little too preoccupied to care that much. Tugging Sollux to his feet, Karkat kissed the Asian silly as he fumbled with the button to his jeans. Finally the black haired man laughed and ripped off his shirt, batting Karkat's hands away and quickly sliding out of the rest of his clothes.

"Can we move this to my bedroom?"

"Fuck yeth we can," Sollux grabbed Karkat's cock and gave it a few fervent pumps, leaving a bruising kiss on his lips.

Eridan was attempting to remove his pants when the lisping man stood him up and planted a deep kiss on the stunned man, "You coming pretty boy?"

"Only if you are doing the work," Eridan smarmed.

"Hey!" Karkat growled, "I'm the birthday boy here if you fuckers would like stay on my good list."

The three stumbled into Karkat's bedroom where he quickly removed the laptop from his comforter before falling onto the mattress, pulling Eridan's hips closer and taking the still standing blonde's rock hard cock into his mouth as Sollux descended onto Karkat's own throbbing member.

"Jesus fuck, Kar," Eridan groaned as the brunette pulled him onto the bed with them.

Arranging himself so he could reach Sollux, Eridan completed the triangle as the three boys launched into blowing each other, licking and sucking and moaning and pumping in a never ending loop of sexual gratification. It was Karkat who finally broke away panting. Sollux pulled away next but Eridan was intent on continuing to suck at the black haired man's dick.

"Dude, ED, Teeth," Sollux took in a sharp breath.

"Fuck you," Eridan pulled off him, "I'm not as practiced at this as you apparently are."

"Oh well then maybe I should ram my cock up your ath without lube tho you can really remember thith experienthe," the young man chuckled.

"Fuck no, I'll top the shit outta you," Eridan grumbled.

"Look if anyone's fucking or getting fucked it better be me you assholes," Karkat swore.

Eridan and Sollux exchanged devious looks before the lispy fucker turned to Karkat, "Why not both?"

Karkat's face lit up even as Eridan climbed up his body, kissing his way across the soft flesh of his stomach and chest and moving him so he was at the edge of the bed, his legs dangling over. Meanwhile, Sollux rummaged through the side table until he found a bottle of lube which he handed to Eridan, before ducking down and again taking Karkat's length into his mouth. Eridan squirted some of the lube into his hands and coated his dick with it before carefully lifting one of Karkat's legs and pressing his fingers against the brunette's entrance. The birthday boy let out a relieved groan as Eridan slid in first one finger, then two, and finally a third, flexing and twisting his digits till he was sure the man was ready. Hitching up Karkat's other leg; Eridan lined up his cock and slowly pushed into Karkat.

A low, constant whimper tore from Karkat's lips as Eridan pushed into his incredibly tight ring of muscles, the blonde moaning just as loudly. Once he was buried deep into the brunette, Eridan shifted his hips and had to take several deep breaths to calm himself lest his should blow right there. Handing the bottle off to Sollux, the blonde slowly pulled out and then slid back into the groaning man under him. Sollux took a palm-full of lube and greased Karkat's pole as his fingered himself, biting his lip as his eyes fluttered closed. Once he was ready, he climbed onto Karkat's lap and slide slowly down onto the brunette's pulsing cock.

"Fuuuuuuuuuucccck," Karkat's eyes rolled back into his head as he slumped against the bed.

After a few awkward movements, Eridan and Sollux finally worked out a rhythm that allowed the blonde to thrust which would bring Karkat's hips up into the Asian and back. They continued, pushed faster and harder. Karkat groaned and twisted as Sollux planted a steadying hand on his chest, tweaking the brunette's nipples. Eridan reached around and began to pump Sollux's cock relentlessly until the man cried out and shot a stream of sticky white liquid over Karkat's stomach. The clenching of his muscles around Karkat's cock was enough to make the brunette see fireworks as he thrust furiously into Sollux, pumping him full of his own orgasm. Finally the overwhelming tightness was just too much for Eridan and with a grunt and a final push; he too emptied himself deep into Karkat's belly before half collapsing onto Sollux's back.

After a few moments, Eridan carefully extricated himself from the tangle of limbs and crashed onto the bed beside Karkat, Sollux rolling off onto the other side and nuzzling into the brunette who sighed contently. The three passed a few drunken kisses between them before lightly drifting off. Karkat was awoken a short time later by the pounding on his door. Shit. Pizza. He'd nearly forgotten. But as he tried to get up he found himself weighed down by two very naked, very sexy men and he couldn't help but smile. Best fucking birthday. EVER.


End file.
